With cooking/baking, it's never a guarantee that the amount of work you put into it will always yield positive results. Sometimes, you can spend hours letting a sourdough rise, but if you put too much salt in it, that beautiful crumb isn't going to equal wonderful taste. (That happened once. It was one of the most beautiful loaves of bread I'd ever produced, but I put WAY too much salt in it.) BUT I can always expect the mixing and kneading process of bread baking.
I don't have a bread machine or a stand mixer, but I enjoy the kneading process especially. It is always a work out, and a stress reliever. I actually crave the feel of dough under my hands, and the slight push it gives as I work it into a smooth product (why does that sound so weird, yet give me thrills???).
My life is changing. There are things that have happened recently that I'm not even sure how to explain to some of my closest and dearest friends. It's not like me to keep things so private, b/c I'm usually the TMI girl. But today, I can't even wrap my mind/emotions around my life.
Since I don't know how to talk about it, I'm going to bake. I'm going to knead that dough like nobody's business, and hopefully it will produce a warm, crusty on the outside, soft in the middle french bread that I can dip in the pot of Vietnamese curry stew (cari ga) that's sitting in my kitchen. And even though my life is uncertain for now...at least I can be certain of the process.
Oat french bread from earlier this year